The wicked man is so arrogant he always thinks, "God won't hold me accountable; he doesn't care." -Psalms 10:4
But it started to change when I began to enroll in a youth study. To be frank, I wasn't too excited when I first heard I was going to attend it, and I still feel words that say, "Wouldn't laying in bed be a much relaxing thing to do? Wouldn't you want to entertain yourself more? You're already so tired, come!"
I am glad I joined.
I remember my first days there, ah the sounds of the instruments and the loud voice of the praises, accompanied by the graceful dancers in blue.
It touched my heart. It felt as if God wanted me. I felt different.
I changed ever since. I tried my very best to do everything I was thought, and I was thought more. Little by little I grew fond of praising God, it gave me a pleasant, warm feeling of His mighty presence. I imagined the Angels of God swooping down and playing their own instruments, and singing along with us listeners, as if we were a joyous choir in perfect harmony.
A lesson I value was the understanding of this 'fire'. It was so cool, and so revealing. I had to feed it, I have to warm it. I have to train my spirit to embrace this, and to keep it safe.
That's only the first part.
I began to have a daily plan for reading the bible. I stumbled across this very verse:
|15 The prophet's attendant got up early in the morning. When he went outside there was an army surrounding the city, along with horses and chariots. He said to Elisha, "Oh no, my master! What will we do?"|
|16 He replied, "Don't be afraid, for our side outnumbers them."|
|17 Then Elisha prayed, "O Lord , open his eyes so he can see." The Lord opened the servant's eyes and he saw that the hill was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. - 2 kings 6:15-17|
"Wow!" I thought. Fire chariots and horses? You can call them? You have the access to a whole army, to fight your enemies? You have a God that listens and responds!
This understanding got even deeper when I attended a church. The topic was the Fire Jesus sent to the world. It was not a fire that devours, but the fire of the Holy Spirit.
An army of fire from the Holy Spirit, that does not destroy but forgives and teaches? Horses that do not trample but comfort? I
Fire chariots that doesn't destroy enemies, but heals them from their evil ways and opens them to a whole new world filled with light and joy. Wow.