I don't know at all. It sneaked off my heart like a small ant. I didn't notice it, nor did I care. My pursuits became empty, I was completely hollow inside. Again. Slowly, I transformed to a slightly better version of myself.
I know for a fact, that The Lord's influence never leaves a man, but The Lord himself will, eventually. He doesn't push you at all, and doesn't punish you. But when you return to his hands, he will gladly accept you.
One night, while I was playing my butt off, I had these few words in my heart:
You said you wanted to change the world.
I stopped. I stared at the screen. The world just paused for a while. Then there's a second voice.
But changing the world isn't possible! Your only a child!
The words of God and the devil was certainly different. One was hard, but gentle. The other was demanding and tempting. I knew what to do.
I stopped, and prayed. I didn't like it, but I did, anyways. Why? I don't know. I just did.
And so spawned these three stories. I hope you don't have to learn it the way I did.